Preached at Markham Baptist Church, July 8, 2001

The audience didn't make a sound as he spoke; everyone was listening too intently to his story to make a sound. A crowd of 200 people, perfectly silent, riveted to every word spoken by Antoine Rutisare, a black pastor from Rwanda. He told of his journey to faith in God and how through reading the Scriptures he asked Jesus to be his Saviour and his Lord. He decided that his commitment to Christ must be lived out in his day to day life and that he must obey everything that the Bible said. This would not be easy; for you see, Antoine was part of the Tutsi tribe; he and his people had been persecuted and hunted down by the Hutus for years. He witnessed the murder of his father in 1961 and then witnessed the genocide of 800,000 of his people at the hands of the militant Hutus in 1994.

And Antoine said to all of us there, that to obey Jesus was easy for him; it was easy to let the bad things go in his life, except for one attitude, and that was bitterness. He could not let go of his anger; he could not let go of his bitterness; he had witnessed his own father's murder; he knew his father's killers; his own neighbours had participated in the genocide of 1994. They weren't just faceless killers, like they are for you and me, so distant from the situation; he knew them and he was bitter.

As I sat listening to him I said to myself, as I'm sure you would, "Antoine, who can blame you? I don't blame you for your bitterness - look at the losses you suffered; look at the anguish you experienced; look at the hurt that was inflicted on you. You have every right to be bitter."

Some of us can identify with that attitude of bitterness. We've been hurt too - maybe not to the degree that Antoine experienced - but the pain is great for us. It has been inflicted on us, often, by people we once trusted and loved. They have now betrayed us, let us down, even turned on us, and hurt us in ways that other people fail to understand. So we live with that bitterness every day. Some days we think we have a control of it, but then someone mentions that name, or we see the person pass us in a car, or we see them in the grocery store, or they come to mind when we are just fading off to sleep at night so that all the bitterness comes flooding back into our minds, so that our heart begins to race and our teeth become clenched and fists shake, and we are again controlled by bitterness.

Sometimes, believing that we have every right to be bitter, we nurse our bitterness and feed it; we allow it to fester so that it becomes a gaping wound.

Norman Wright, a noted Christian counsellor and author, lists the signs of bitterness as being:^1.

You feel like striking back or telling off those in authority.
You explode for no apparent or obvious reason.
You engage in a power struggle with your spouse and view him or her as you enemy.
You avoid or fear any type of contact with your parents.
You make caustic or spiteful comments toward those you love.
You feel unappreciated or left out at work or at home.
You experience somatic complaints, which could include stomach aches, headaches, backaches, and so on.
Your outlook on life itself is basically pessimistic or negative.

Antoine said that he could not let go of his bitterness, but as he studied the Word of God he realized that he must. He realized that bitterness is a clear sign of the ungodly, of the non-Christian.

In Romans 3, the Holy Spirit gives us a description of the ungodly and in verse 13 and 14 we read, "Their throats are open graves; their tongues practise deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness." (NIV)

In Acts 8 we have the story of Simon the Sorcerer, the man who was seemingly converted to Christianity, but who by his actions - specifically wanting to purchase the indwelling of the Holy Spirit - showed that his conversion was a sham, a way of manipulating power for himself. Peter discerns this and says to him, "You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin." (Acts 8: 21-23) (NIV)

And our text is in Ephesians. Paul is describing life in the Spirit here. He is comparing the old man with the new man - a metaphor that he uses for life before coming to Christ, and life after coming to Christ, and he is saying that we should put off the old man. He says that God has done his part; he has regenerated us, and made us new creations. The old man has been crucified and buried. Now he says in chapter 4:1, "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." (NIV) You have been made new by the blood of Christ; now live accordingly.

Warren Wiersbe says that this whole passage reminds us of the story of Lazarus. (Lazarus being picture of the regenerated life.) When Christ comes into our heart we are given new life and instructed, as Christ instructed those around Lazarus, "Loose him - take off the grave clothes - and let him go!" Paul writes, verse 22, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires." (Ephesians 4) (NIV)

And then in verses 25 through 31, he lists all of those sins that we are to put off because they belong to the old life, because of their corrupting nature - there is falsehood, anger, stealing, and laziness, bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander along with every form of malice.

My friends, bitterness belongs to your old self - it is a piece of clothing that you used to wear before you came to Christ. But now you are made new; now you have been touched with the forgiveness of Christ, and to continue to wear bitterness on your heart - well it doesn't look good on you, and it dishonours the name of the one who has forgiven you of everything.

But don't take my word for it - look at what the Word of the Lord says we should put off bitterness because it grieves the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). The Holy Spirit lives within the Christian, and when the heart is filled with bitterness and anger, the Spirit grieves.

The Holy Spirit is happiest in an atmosphere of love, joy, and peace, for these are the Fruit of the Spirit that he produces in our lives as we obey him.

We have learned that the Holy Spirit will not leave us, because he is a seal given to us until the day of Christ's return. We do not lose our salvation because of our sinful attitudes, but we certainly lose the joy of our salvation, the fullness of the Spirit's blessing.

Second, our sin grieves God the Son, who died for us.

Third, it grieves God the father who forgave us when we trusted Christ.

Here Paul puts his finger on the basic cause of bitterness; we cannot forgive people. This is what Antoine discovered in his journey. He could not forgive. And as he read the gospels again and again he always was made to stop at the prayer Jesus spoke from the cross, "Father, forgive them." And he always asked himself how could he do this. How could he forgive those people who mocked him, shamed him, deserted him, and nailed him to the cross?

It is not easy. Never believe that forgiveness is easy; it isn't. But it is essential if we are to overcome bitterness and if we are to live for Christ fully.

There is only one way to overcome bitterness, and that is forgiveness. Our text tells us to forgive one another, "just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4: 32) (NIV)

Forgiveness really is the centre of our faith. My friends, we can only practise forgiveness when we realize that we are forgiven everything in Christ. He has forgiven us the smallest of offences and the biggest of offences. Herod tried to kill him; the Jews tried to stone him; his miracles were ascribed to the devil; his spotless character was tainted with allegations of drunkenness; the hatred toward him was unprovoked, and you know the horror of his crucifixion.

And we think that we never did any of those things to him, but the truth is that God laid the iniquity, the wrong-doings of us all, upon him. We must also confess that he was despised and we rejected him. We crucified him and killed him as far as we were able to, by our rejection of his love, and yet he has forgiven us.

He is ready to forgive us; his grace is like a great flood that rises and rises until all our sin is covered.

It doesn't matter if our sin is the deepest red. The moment we say we are sorry to Jesus, he forgives us and makes us whiter than snow.

He says, "I forgive you, go and sin no more." And his forgiveness isn't measured and hesitant like ours so often is; it's unconditional; it's measureless and ceaseless.

He doesn't outwardly forgive while inwardly allowing his heart to burn with bitterness and anger against us. He joyfully, wholly, entirely, puts away the sin of those whom he forgives, and puts it away for ever and ever.

And when he forgives, he forgives the whole of our sin, the whole of our faults, failures and offences. Not just this little part - thus leaving this sin unforgiven and staining our character - when he forgives, he puts all of our sin away. Not a shred, not a fragment, not a particle remains.

This is great forgiveness - forgiveness that has been showered upon us over and over again in our Christian lives by him who rules on high. It is the forgiveness that we have tasted from God's own hand.

And it is this forgiveness that we are called upon to offer to others; it is the only way to overcome bitterness.

Antoine told us that he realized that he had to do it; he had to forgive his father's murderers. He had to forgive the ones who hurt and slaughtered his people in the genocide, no matter how difficult. He had to do it. So he took a day and he listed all the people he hated. He knew them by name. He listed every one and said, "Lord, I hate this person and I hate that person," and he prayed, "Lord, take away my anger and bitterness."

Then he began to follow our Lord's command to pray for our enemies. And he couldn't do it. Their names wouldn't come to his lips; he couldn't pray for them, and he began to weep. He wept like he never had before. And as he wept he prayed, and the names of his enemies came to his lips until at the end of the day he had managed to pray through the whole list and he fell asleep exhausted. The next day he awoke and resolved that every time he thought of these people he would ask God to bless them.

That's how Antoine Rutisare finished his testimony and he sat down. The crowd was still, except for one man who stood up and broke the silence, and he asked, "Do you mean to tell me," he asked, "that you actually forgave your father's murderers and those people who killed so many people in your land? Do you actually mean to tell me that Jesus wants us to forgive?"

And Antoine got up and said, "I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Our Lord calls us to forgive, as he has forgiven us, and he calls us to pray for those who hurt us. I know of only one way to get rid of bitterness and that is forgiveness. I admit that sometimes the anger and bitterness comes back to me - but I pray and I say to God, 'Lord the bitterness is back, give me your grace; give me your grace; give me your grace.'"

And let me tell you, as sure as I'm standing before you, it works; it works. That is victory.

My friends, may you know the victory that Christ's forgiveness brings over the crippling attitude of bitterness.