Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.  One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.  The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him.  Who are you to judge someone else's servant?  To his own master he stands or falls.  And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.  One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike.  Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.  He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord.  He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.  For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone.  If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord.  So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.  You, then, why do you judge your brother?  Or why do you look down on your brother?  For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.  It is written: "'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, `every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.'" So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.  Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.  Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.  As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself.  But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.  If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.  Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.  Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.  Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.  Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.  All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.  It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.  So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.  Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.  But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
(Romans 14) (NIV)

   It was my first week of college.  Some of us in dorm decided to go out for pizza and so we all piled into my old Chevy.  I was in the mood to party, so I pushed a tape into the player and cranked up the volume.  Bachman Turner Overdrive, one of the big rock groups in the mid-70s, began blasting out one of their hits.  It went a few seconds and someone in the front seat quickly pushed the eject button and pulled the tape out.  By the look on his face, I thought he was going to throw it out the window! 

   "What's the matter?  " I asked, "Don't you like B.T.O.?  "

   "What!  ?  Do you like this garbage, bud?  " he queried, as if he couldn't believe it.  He went on, "This music is demonic, just like all rock music."

   Well, I had heard about people like him, but now I met someone face to face who really believed rock music and Christianity didn't mix.  Somebody in the back seat agreed with him.  "Oh well," I thought, "I can always use earphones in the dorm."  I started building a "don't list" for college life with DON'T LISTEN TO LOUD ROCK MUSIC IN PUBLIC at the top of my list.

   Four years later, a little older and wiser, married and with different tastes in music, I moved to Nova Scotia.  After a few months in Seminary I ended up living in a small town 30 miles from the school where I pastored a church.  We had just bought a new Pontiac Sunbird, a bright red one with fancy striping.  My way of relaxing after the service on Sunday was, after lunch, to go out and wash the car.  I would spend a couple of hours washing and vacuuming.

   Then one Monday morning the chairman of the Deacon's Board came into my office.  "Kevin," he said, "I didn't think you, of all people, would need to be told this: we don't think it's right to wash your car on Sunday.  It's a bad witness to everyone who sees you working on the Lord's Day."  Here was something else to add to my "don't list".  After a while I found there were some things on the list from Alberta I could scratch off.  Soon I had to replace my Albertan "don't list" with a Maritime one.

   Then we moved to Toronto.  I started my studies at Wycliffe College downtown and we began a period of adjustment to another world altogether.  I eventually became a deacon at Blythwood Road Baptist Church.  When it was my turn to serve communion the first time, I wore what I always wore to church, dress pants and a nice sweater.

   Well, I was in for it at the next deacon's meeting, I'll tell you.  Right on the agenda was the item: 'Reminder of dress code'.  "Kevin," said the chairman, "you cannot serve communion without a dark jacket and a tie.  That is our dress code in this church.  We want to show honour to God and your casual clothes do not."  New item for the Toronto list: always wear a suit on communion Sunday.

   Just when I got used to the "high-church" style of some Toronto Baptists, I became pastor at a large inner-city church that ministered mostly to the arts community and street people.  The dress code there was jeans and a shirt, period.  Any morning I wore a tie and jacket, I had to put up with jokes about how there must be some scouts from pulpit committees in the sanctuary that morning that I was trying to impress.  Time to revise my list again.  It seemed every new place I went, as I prepared for ministry, I started out as a rank sinner until I could reconstruct a new list of dos and don'ts.

   Every community has its oral and written tradition that is regarded as sacred and divinely ordained.  You wouldn't think of slighting these standards if you still want to be considered a real Christian.  Paul has something to say to all of us who operate with these special criteria in our mind of what is right and what is wrong ? especially if we are inclined to form opinions about others based on our own personal criteria.  The one issue that serves as a test case in this respect is the issue of eating idol meat.

   Paul taught his new converts in every city that there was no such thing as idols and that Christians were free to eat whatever meat they wanted.  The problem was that some Christians in Paul's churches could not ignore the fact that some of the meat bought in the market was meat from the temple - meat that was left over from temple sacrifices.  All they could think of was their former way of life, the worship of idols, the sexual immorality and drunkenness that was part and parcel of the temple activities.  It was totally inconsistent with all they knew about being in Christ now, and they could not tolerate anything associated with their former, pagan way of life.  These ex-pagans were joined in their protest against idol meat by the Jewish Christians in the church who came from a background of strict dietary laws.  The groups formed and the arguments started.

   Today we don't have a problem concerning idol meat.  None of us go to the supermarket and ask the butcher if the beef came from the local temple of Aphrodite.  But there are similar issues we might have a problem dealing with in our fellowships.  Today's temples are built in honour of the gods of money, power, sex, drugs, and even sports (anything that takes our allegiance away from God).  Today's temples exist in the form of shopping centres, movie theatres, book stores, liquor stores, taverns, the stock market, stadiums, and arenas.  Even the little kiosks where lottery tickets are bought are like mini-shrines, scattered everywhere, devoted to the North American God of Greed.

   Just like early Christians arguing about eating meat that was associated with idol worship, we argue about the place some of the products of these modern-day temples should have in the life of a Christian.  Should a Christian drink alcohol?  Should a Christian smoke tobacco?  Marijuana?  What kind of movies should a Christian watch?  To what extent can a Christian experience his or her sexuality outside of marriage?  Can a Christian buy lottery tickets in good conscience?  When does a particular style of dress cross the line from proper to improper for a Christian?  Should a Christian shop on Sundays?  If not, should a Christian even patronize a restaurant on Sundays? 

   What Paul has to say in Romans 14 is very relevant to all of these issues, and more.  The first main point of this chapter, developed in verses 1-12, can be summarized in a simple phrase: DON'T BE JUDGED AND DON'T JUDGE.  Don't let anyone impose their standards of righteousness upon you.

   My sister-in-law, when she was a little girl, was every parent's dream when it came to eating what was put on the plate before her.  Instead of having to threaten her with holding back dessert if she didn't eat her vegetables, my mother-in-law would just have to wait for little Gwen's question, "Mommy, do I like this?  " Mom would naturally reply, "Yes, dear, you do."  Gwen would then happily eat up whatever she was told she liked! 

   One of the clearest evidences that a child is becoming an adult is when the child starts making his or her own choices in terms of taste, in terms of T.V., in terms of friends, in terms of activities, and so on, rather than making these choices by Mommy and Daddy's rules.  The Christian should mature in the same fashion.  There comes a time when we need to stop looking to others for our cues as to how we should be living.  Once that time comes, then we also need to realize that no one has the right to judge our behaviour on these matters of personal choice.  Who can tell you that what you and the Lord have worked out between you is wrong?  No one knows what's in your heart, and it's the heart that should direct our action.  Don't be judged.

   But there's a natural companion to the slogan, "Don't be judged".  That is: "Don't judge".  Don't presume that others are living under your standards.  One wit has suggested, "You can always tell when a man is well-informed.  His views are pretty much like your own!  " It's one thing to say, "You can't tell me what to do!  " But sometimes it's harder for us to say, "I won't tell you what to do."

   Paul warns us about judging others.  When we judge others, we are putting ourselves in God's place.  He, and he alone, is the one each of us will have to stand before.  As Paul asks (in verse 4), "Who are you to judge someone else's servant?  " (NIV)

   When we presume to judge others, we are doing so without all the facts.  We don't know their heart.  We only see things from our own perspective -- which can be pretty selective.

   This poem says it well:

I dreamed death came the other night
And Heaven's gates swung wide.
With kindly grace an angel
Ushered me inside.
And there, to my astonishment,
Stood folks I've known on earth
Some I'd judged and labeled
Unfit or of little worth.
Indignant words rose to my lips,
But never were set free;
For every face showed stunned surprise
None expected me!

   So what has Paul said so far?  Don't be judged and don't judge.  That little phrase sounds like a neat package.  It also sounds like we are all free to do whatever we feel like regarding these debatable lifestyle issues, being careful we don't impose our standards on one another.

   Problems will arise, though, if everyone lives this way.  Individual freedom and minds that are far too open are just as dangerous to the church as restrictive, close-minded opinions are.  If we are to follow the lead of Scripture we can't just leave our ethical behaviour in the realm of private freedom, living by the motto "Live and let live."  That's no different than the social ethic of our non-Christian society, which says, "You are free to do anything you like, as long as you don't hurt anybody else when you do it."  Is that what Christians are to be like?  Like everybody else?  Or, are we supposed to be salt and light in a decaying and dark world? 

   Paul doesn't want us passing judgement on others and he doesn't want us to feel like anyone has the right to judge us.  But he doesn't stop there.  He goes a step farther in giving us some guidance on matters of our personal lifestyle.  Romans 14:13-21 says PUT OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF.

   It is your responsibility to adjust your lifestyle for the benefit of your Christian community.  You need to take into account the feelings of certain individuals who might be offended or confused by your actions.

   This doesn't mean that you are allowing yourself to be judged by the criteria of others.  You are simply foregoing your individual privileges for the sake of building one another up.  As Paul says in verse 19: "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."  (NIV) In other words, sometimes personal preference must give way to community well-being.

   Every Christian community is a microcosm of diversity; we have all kinds in our midst!  And there are always some in every crowd who "bring up the rear" when it comes to attitudes.  You know who I mean.  They don't agree with much.  They don't approve of one thing or another.  There's always something wrong with what somebody else is doing.  It can be frustrating dealing with them.  It can be a headache having them on a committee.  But, they have to be tolerated.  After all, they're part of the family, aren't they?  Can you think of somebody like that?  Who?  (That's a rhetorical question -- please, please don't jump up and shout out any names here!  ).

   I'll bet you are thinking of someone else other than yourself!  That's the beauty of Paul's "weaker Christian" ethic - it's always the other person who we think is misguided.  We always think we're the strong ones, and others are the weak ones.

   Paul was a wise man.  According to his directions, then, we always have the responsibility to adjust our lifestyle for the sake of peace and harmony.  We can't hold out until someone else caters to our way of thinking.  It's always up to us to keep the peace.  Put others before yourself.  Don't insist on your personal rights and individual freedom.  Adopting this attitude means that we will probably end up living differently than we would have if we were not part of a faith community.

   We've almost made in through Romans 14.  And where do we stand?  You have your opinion.  I have mine.  I'll keep my opinion to myself and I won't offend you.  You will still have your opinion, and I'll still have mine, but our own opinions are not the final word that will dictate our actions.

   Is this good?  Does this mean that our own personal opinion doesn't matter?  Just in case we jump to the wrong conclusion here, Paul has more to say.  In Romans 14:22-23, Paul stresses that it is necessary to WORK IT OUT BETWEEN YOU AND GOD.  IT REALLY MATTERS WHAT YOU THINK.  We might not be accountable to any person regarding our personal positions on where we stand on ethical issues, but we are still accountable to two people: to God and to ourselves.

   Going back to Romans 14:4, we read that it is before God, our own Master, that we stand or fall.  And then, in the next verse, verse 5, Paul says, "Let each one be convinced in his own mind."  A little farther along, in verse 12 we read that, "Each of us shall give an account of our behaviour to God."  He finally sums it all up in verses 22-23: "The faith you have, keep between yourself and God; happy is he who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves.  But he who has doubts is condemned, if he eats, because he does not act from faith, for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."

   These verses stress that whatever position you maintain personally, it is important that you need to consider it seriously and make a responsible decision.  In other words, there must be a deliberate, God-honouring reason for everything you do.  It is important that you think about how you live.  You have to be convinced in your own mind.  You have to be prepared to give an account to God as to the decisions you have made and the lifestyle you have chosen to follow.  WORK IT OUT BETWEEN YOU AND GOD.

   Paul went beyond the Old Testament laws to chart new ground with his ethics of the "weaker Christian".  We, too, may have to go beyond our legalism and our individualism.  We need to take his example and realize that the Bible is not a rule book of dos and don'ts.

   We cannot say, "I must follow all the specific commands in the Bible and I can do anything the Bible does not expressly forbid."  We would end up behaving in a strange way: women would be wearing veils and men would be greeting one another with a holy kiss!  And we would still have a lot of loopholes and unanswered questions.

   On the other hand, we cannot replace legalism with an attitude of strict individualism.  Nor can we replace it with an "anything goes" laissez-faire attitude.  We need to think and live by the three injunctions contained in Paul's weaker Christian ethic:

1. DON'T BE JUDGED AND DON'T JUDGE
2. PUT OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF
3. WORK IT OUT BETWEEN YOU AND GOD

In other words:

   IT REALLY IS IMPORTANT WHAT YOU DO - FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS.

   IT REALLY IS IMPORTANT WHAT YOU THINK - FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.

Copyright MBC and Dr. Kevin Quast - July 2001