Have you ever played the game "King of the Castle"?  My boys remind me of this game every so often when we are in the forest.  We come to a large rock, and Mark scampers up to the top of the rock and begins to tease John, "I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal."  At this point, of course, John will not stand for it and proceeds to climb the rock and throw Mark from off the top.  When he succeeds, with Mark being unhurt, he begins to taunt Mark, "I'm the king of the castle, and you're the dirty rascal."  At which Mark scampers up to the top of the rock and - well, you know how the game goes.

   And you ask, "What does this have to do with anything?"  Well it has to do with our subject this morning - overcoming jealousy - for the game of "King of the Castle" is a living illustration of what jealousy is all about - but not from the king's point of view, from the dirty rascal's point of view.  The dirty rascal, when he sees the king sitting pretty on the hill, is not content to be at the bottom of the hill, and is intent on getting to the top and being king - even if he or she has to dethrone the present king himself.

   This is what jealousy is.  It is that deep desire to have what another has.  Thomas Aquinas defined it as "sadness at another's good."  That good may be skill, wealth, or popularity.

   Another commentator says that when we are jealous we say to ourselves, "I wish I had what you have and furthermore you have it by some fluke and don't deserve it and I don't like you for it.  Along with it goes the nasty thought of how nice it would be if you got toppled off your high and lofty place.  We hope secretly that circumstances will do it, and if they don't seem disposed to, we are apt to hurry things along a bit and take a hand in it ourselves."¹

   Is it any wonder that Paul sees envy as the very opposite of love? (I Corinthians 13:4)

   While we are often slow to admit that we are jealous of another, hindsight certainly is a help in recognizing jealousy.

   It is with hindsight that I now recognize the jealousy I had toward my fellow seminarians who were graduating.  Some were going to a bigger church than I was going to, some seemed to have skills and talents that I wasn't privileged to have, but boy, did I want them, because those talents were praised and appreciated by so many in the divinity college, and I remember feeling that they surely weren't worthy of such talents and skills.

   I was jealous.

   Other people are also helpful in recognizing jealousy in us.  I remember, back before I started to date Janet, how much I liked her, but she was dating another guy.  I was sitting telling my best friend at the time how much I wished I was that other guy, and how I was sure that other guy wasn't worthy of her - not intelligent enough, not handsome enough, and not kind enough.

   I remember my friend saying, "Tom, I don't remember much Shakespeare, but I do remember this quote, 'Jealousy is a green-eyed monster.'"  I was jealous and he saw it in me.

   We need to recognize it when it wells up within us, but more, we need to recognize it for what it is - one of Satan's tools to destroy all that is good.  We need to recognize how, when jealousy takes root in a person's heart, it sets out to destroy that which he envies but in the end the person really destroys himself.

   The Holy Spirit gives us picture after picture of jealous people in Scripture.  The first picture of jealousy we come across is found at the very edge of history itself, in the life of Cain and his relation to his brother Abel.  Cain was madly jealous that his brother had God's favour and acceptance while his own labour was rejected.  Cain's jealousy drove him to murder.

   We don't have to go too far into Scripture to see jealousy take control of another group of men - Joseph's brothers.  You know how Joseph received the coat of many colours from his father, Jacob.  It was the kind of robe worn only by the rich and noble, by kings' sons, and those who wore it did not have to work for a living.  It was a long robe that went to the ankles, and to the wrists.  The robes of the working-class were cut short, so they could labour easily in the fields amongst the flocks.  When Jacob gave Joseph the robe he said, in effect, that Joseph would be exempt from the hardships and toils of work and would receive a rich inheritance.

   When the brothers saw the robe on Joseph the text says, "They were jealous of him." (Genesis 37:11) (NIV)

   Then there is Saul, hearing the women of Israel greet him with song, he has slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands, and Saul was very angry, says the text:  "'They have credited David with tens of thousands,' he thought, 'But me with only thousands.  What more can he get but the kingdom?'  And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David." (I Samuel 18:8-9) (NIV)

   Do you see how that game "King of the Castle" continues to be played by adults?  As soon as we see someone with more power, or more favour, or more prominence, jealousy wells up within us and we want to have what he has.

   O how the Holy Spirit wants us to be aware of jealousy.  He gives us this warning in Proverbs 14:30, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." (NIV)  And we know it be to true, how envy, when allowed to take root within us, seems to fill every cavity, every thought, and takes all our energy until we are spent and ruined by it.

   And we could say from these Old Testament examples that jealousy not only rots the bones but rots families and societies as well.  Materialism - that mad dash to have the latest and the best - is the child of envy.  We start out all right, setting reasonable standards for our living, but then we see someone with a house a little bigger, or a car a little newer, or a lifestyle a little more luxurious, and off we go running after it with all our might, working harder to get more money, to buy things we don't need.

   Jealousy rots the bones.

   The New Testament isn't without its examples either.  The Pharisees are jealous of Jesus and crowds of people who follow him.  The disciples are jealous of one another and argue for the best seats in Christ's kingdom when he comes to power.

   Jealousy - who will be the king of the castle?

   And the infant church is rife with jealousy.  We see it especially in the Corinthian church where they were torn apart by jealousy - each one jealous of the other's spiritual gift and some of them because they didn't possess a more prominent and seemingly important gift said they were of no use.  "I wish I had that gift, and because I don't, I won't exercise the gift I have."  And they were rendered useless.

   Isn't that the way?  Sometimes in our desire to have what we don't have we become useless in the kingdom of God.  Immobilized by jealousy, we become obsessed with having what we don't have and we fail to exercise and give what we do have.

   Now let me mention that Scripture does speak of a divine jealousy.  We read in Exodus 34:14 that we are not to "worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." (NIV)

   And again in Deuteronomy 4:23-24:  "be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden.  For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." (NIV)

   We need to understand that the jealousy of God has nothing to do with the negative connotations of the word.  But it has everything to do with God longing for his creation to have the best, to worship the living God.  It has to do with God's zeal for us.  Indeed, according to Vines word dictionary, the word Jealous, when used to describe God, might be better interpreted as Zealous.

   Our God is a zealous God - zealous in his love for our spiritual and physical well being.  His jealousy then speaks of God's eternal watchfulness for our well being and is an expression of his tender love for us.

   And so Paul writes to the Corinthians, "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. "(2 Corinthians 11:2) (NIV)  Paul was not jealous of the people of Corinth, he was jealous for them.  He was jealous for their welfare and spiritual health.

   So there is a godly jealousy.  But the kind of jealousy we must beware of is the kind that is self-promoting.  And we can tell the difference by asking ourselves two questions:

1. "Do we rejoice when others succeed, or do we secretly criticize them?"
2. "Do we feel burdened when others fail or are we glad?"

   If we answer these in a poor way then our jealousy is not godly but self-promoting.

   Well, how do we overcome jealousy?  How do we become victors over this evil characteristic that has torn apart lives, families, and nations since the beginning of time?

   Against all the pictures of jealousy that Scripture gives us, John the Baptist is a refreshing change, isn't he?  I mean, here come his disciples saying, "Rabbi, that man Jesus whom you testified about - you know you said, 'look there is the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world,' the fellow named Jesus?"

    "Yes I know him… "

    "Well he is baptizing and everyone is going to him!"

   And John answers in a beautiful way - instead of getting jealous, instead of getting angry with God for not giving him continued prestige, instead of getting upset that the spotlight is no longer on him, he says, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven." (John 3:27) (NIV)

   So here is the first key for overcoming jealousy.  It is:  be content with what you have.  This is the word we have from the book of Hebrews 13:5:  "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" (NIV)

   Be content with your lot, be content with your position, be content with the measure of God's grace that is given to you, and be content with life.

   My mother has a little saying posted on her window over her kitchen sink that reads, "Bloom where you're planted."

   In other words, don't always go to God saying, "I deserve better, I want more, I was given the short end of the stick here - I deserve, I deserve."

   Be content, for God will never leave you; God will never forsake you.  So bloom where you are planted.

   Here's the second means for overcoming jealousy.  Whatever you do, and whatever you seek, do it all for the glory of God.  This is Paul's word to the envious Corinthians (I Corinthians 10:31).  And this is John's example to us - in verse 28, he says to his disciples, look you guys, you know that I said, "I am not the Christ, but am sent ahead of him." (John 3:28) (NIV)  And then in verse 30 he says, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30) (NIV)

   There's no jealousy here, no hint of bitterness, because John is seeking to give the glory to God.  He knew that he wasn't God's chosen one, but the one who was to prepare the way.  He was content in that, and when the time came for him to slip out of the public spotlight, he gave glory to God, for he saw God's purposes at work.

   To be sure, scripture teaches us not to be content with some things, such as the level of righteousness practiced in our world - we are to fight for truth, and peace and justice.  We are not to be content with our level of personal spirituality; we are to hunger and thirst for the kingdom of God in our lives.  And we are to grow in our spiritual maturity.  We are not to be content in our efforts to share the good news of Jesus Christ until we have preached the gospel to every nation.

   But this is the difference between a selfish jealousy, that demands more from God because that's what, "I deserve", not a divine zeal that longs for more of the things of God so that he can be glorified.

   He must become greater and I must become less.

   That is a wonderful prayer for us as we seek to overcome jealousy.  O Lord, you become greater in my life and let me become less.  That is the very opposite sentiment to jealousy.  For jealousy says I must become greater than you, and you, God, must become less.

   Be content; seek to give glory to God.  Here's the third means to overcoming jealousy - very connected to the other two - and it is this:  take joy in what God has given to you and made you.

   John says in verse 29, "The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice.  That joy is mine, and it is now complete." (John 3: 29) (NIV)

   John saw himself as the friend of the bridegroom; Jesus was the bridegroom.  As the friend of the bridegroom, he wasn't the bridegroom; he didn't have the centre spotlight; not every eye was on him; he wasn't the man of the hour.  In this Middle East culture, the friend of the bridegroom did all the background work for the wedding.  He was to ask for the hand of the bride, to arrange the preliminaries of the wedding, and to oversee the reception of the bride and bridegroom.  John had done the background work; he had prepared the people for the coming of the one who mattered.  And when he heard the voice of the bridegroom, he was full of joy.

   He didn't grumble that more attention wasn't given to him.  He didn't complain, "O God I'm in the shadows while the bridegroom gets all the favour and power and position."

   No, no.  He took joy in what he had been given, unlike Cain, unlike Joseph's brothers, unlike Saul - he was content.  He took joy in his place in life and sought to give glory to God.

   My friends, if you are filled with jealousy today, the Holy Spirit has shown you how to overcome it.  Recognize that jealousy is of the devil and it will destroy you, and those close to you.  With the help of God you can overcome jealousy if you will seek to pray that prayer of John's:  "Lord you become greater in my life, while I become less."  Pray it daily, pray it hourly, continually.  Pray it, taking joy in what God has made you and given you, content and seeking to give glory to God in all things.

Copyright MBC and Tom Cullen - August 2001

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